Apr 17th, 2019
Fear Of Missing Out #IYP
I go all in on how I spent my New Years in 2019, and how for the first time ever pretty much I was absolutely beside myself with how perfect it was. As well with how and who I spent it with.
See for me since way back when, like I'm talking grade school I always wanted and maybe even needed to be right there in the mix, not missing out on anything. This weird fear, weird insecurity stayed with me from them until my adult years. Only starting to slow or fade off a little the last few years.
This day though with all I have been speaking about as far as energy changes, earth changes, earth sign changes and all the other foo foo thing in my mention from time to time, it did not enter my reality at all. I was beyond confident with what I was doing and for once was not worrying / thinking / or in fear of what others could be, maybe, or are doing, or how much fun/gossip/excitement I may have been missing out on!
Wow that is a mouth full to say, and brings back so many anxious memories. I sit here and ask why? Why did I do that to myself? Honestly I do not have an answer other. Other than to say there were obviously things missing inside myself, such as love and confidence to begin with....Thinking that something (such as events, or non important chatter) could make me happy! WTF!!
All exterior BS that is only momentary as far as being happy is involved, for example if you buy a new pair of shoe's and it makes you happy for that 5 to 45 minutes, then it fades! That's why things such as material or external "THINGS" just can not make us happy. It's up to us to make us happy and that starts inside.
Anyway this last while I have been telling you all, that there has been some monumental shifts happening for us all to be honest weather you feel it or not, it is happening. I feel for me due to my practice I may be a little more in-tune currently (that may change).
So with these changes over the last few moths, on this Day New Years 2019 I was blown away by my inside content and appreciation for where I was and what it was I was doing. I came to this AHA moment where I was like, damn I am living the dream, what else matters? So let's leave it at that!
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