Cellar Dweller Or Action Takers #IYP

This one hit close to home in today's talk, I see the sadness or maybe a better word would be the overwhelmingness that seem's to haunt the 2 sorta relatives (or close family friends) that stopped by for a chat.

They are getting up into the years where I think that they are really starting to think about and maybe even look forward to the retirement day's, excited to just relax and have no agenda or time table to follow. 

Yet there is some massive issue's they have self imposed on themselves by allowing their children (specifically this one child, well adult around 30 years old) to live off them unconditionally. Not the child's fault is it? Or is it? 

Here is the fascinating thing (and if we listen, I mean really listen instead of just waiting to reply all the time to be heard there are so many gems of knowledge that relate to our own lives. Our own lesson's to learn, the mirror I always speak of). So the amount of stress they as the parents take on to continue to provide for this child is pretty massive. The work load they impose on themselves to continue to provide for this child is massive as well. 

Flip side of that, the child is either unaware of this, or does not care about this, or just assume's this is the way it is and does not know any different. Either way his life is not really effected...or is it?

Never had a job, never had a girl, never tried for anything, no goals, no hopes, no aspirations, no anything. Just existing and is that really life? 

So who's fault is it? Or is there fault, does either side even see an issue?

Again I just listen, the father says to me "I'll never be able to retire". Although at this point that seem's to be what they want. Why can't they retire? The unhappiness of not following his heart is a massive issue. The mother says how she is worried that her son will never find a women because he has poor social skills. Again l listen and because of this (so called issue) she coddles him even more to make up for the hurt he may one day experience.

Who's issues are these, and how were these issues created? From those on the outside looking in it seems so easy to see and find all the problems and answer's. Yet when you are in the eye of the storm (meaning your own life and issues's) they are not so easy to point out because we don't have a different point of view, yet if someone on the outside looks at our problems, well then they would say the same thing.

So through what we claim as our definition of love for someone else, we cut off a life of possibility by trying to protect them from the big bad world out there.  Yet by doing this very act we try to play God over them, we are not God, we are not the Universe so we have to let this control go, or we not only cause massive harm to that someone else, we also cause massive harm to ourselves by taking on the responsibility of God.

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